me: what’s for dinner?
her: *spreads her legs*
so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it.
repeat after me: i am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014
Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe and very little money to own.
this is real
IF U DO NOT LIKE ME:
1. Me neither
2. I don’t care
- Johnny Knoxville (via cultivate-solitude)
can i apologize in advance for basically everything i will ever do
WHY DO PARENTS ALWAYS RUIN YOUR DAY AND THEN ACT LIKE THEY DIDNT RUIN YOUR DAY AND WONDER WHY YOURE IN A BAD MOOD
i never really liked
until i found out
what it tastes like
when you write it in frosting
on top of a cake